The way things are:
I have realized that there are so many things to come and go. Not having everything is something that I have wanted to have, and I am almost there but there are good things that will happen, but the questions is when will that time come, These past months hasn't been so good for me, after losing both of my parents two months apart. I have my good days and not so good days. Its still hard, and I think about them everyday, I am still seeing Javier, on regular basic's, But he still is the same, I have been angry and wondering about our relationship, I been wanting to meet his family now for 3 yrs, We been together almost 4 yrs. I still believe that he is keeping me a secret, I want our relationship out in the open. I like to go with him, and spend the day with him, and his family. like bbqs and and family and friends function of out door activities. I been wanting and have tried to invite him over to my family events, Next month will be 5 yrs since I moved back to Arizona, and plan to celebrate. with family and friends. I have invited my bff, Samantha to go. and she says she would like to go. and I can't wait. My one wish is to have Javier with me, I have been keeping my real emotions locked up inside, and every once in awhile I let it out. not always. Its just the way I am. I still have those silly dreams, but I don't want to have those silly dreams, I want to see it actually come true. question is when?
